ROUND ONE: Two summers ago I’m sitting in the office. It’s real quiet outside as it nearly always is but it doesn’t feel right. I walk outside and there are two guys sitting by the barbeque grills.
Me: I help you?
Them: We’re waiting for the owner.
Me: Can I help you?
Them: No, the owner.
Me: Yes, can I help you?
Them: No, the real owner.
Me: Oh, the real owner. Do you know what he looks like?
Them: Yes, we just saw him on the trail, he drives a red jeep station wagon, he’s about 40 something, his wife is blond and they have a kid in the back.
Me: He’s the owner?
Them: Yes, he said he’d be back in a few minutes and show us around and to just wait for him at the lodge.
Me: I’ll wait with you.
30 minutes later nobody shows. I offer to take them around the lodge and they say no, they have to go.
ROUND TWO: March of last year, two guys pull up in a Land Rover. I walk outside to greet them.
Me: Are you lost? Cause if you’re not, I can give you directions that will fix that.
Them: No, we’re waiting for the owner.
Me: Did he tell you to come here?
Them: Yes, we met him on the trail and he said he’d be back in a few minutes and show us around.
Me: He’s good like that. Come on inside and we’ll wait for him together. Where’d you see him?
Them: On the road to Chicken Corner.
Me: Red Jeep station wagon, blond wife, with a kid?
Them: Yep, that’s him.
30 minutes later nobody shows. I take them around, give them my card.
ROUND THREE: Last October, two guys show up on ATV’s. I walk outside to greet them.
Me: What’s up guys?
Them: Just waiting for the owner, said he’d be back in a minute.
Me: Sure, can I get you a beer and show you around while we wait?
Them: That would be great.
I show them around.
I know not why, but no matter.
DRIVING TO TOWN: Guy on the side of the trail thumbing. I stop, open jeep door.
Him: My neighbor told me not to buy a cat when I moved in.
Him: He’s chasing my lizards.
Him: Do you know why the highway people took down my “Squirrel Crossing” signs?
Him: I paid $30 each for them.
Him: Looks like rain. (not a cloud in the sky)
Him: Let me out here.